4 Powers of Couple Time
Too many couples start their married lives crazy in love and completely in sync, and then wake up one day to find that they hardly know the person across the breakfast table. It’s easy to get so busy running to work and chasing children that you lose sight of what set this whole merry-go-round into motion: your love for each other. Protecting your marriage and keeping your relationship alive takes effort, but the benefits are tremendous.
1. Power to Communicate. Couple time allows real communication to happen. Texting your husband about picking up a kid from soccer practice or bringing home a gallon of milk is not the stuff of which intimacy is made. It’s when we get together, without the kids interrupting or the cell phones ringing that we can talk—really talk. Talk about the goals you both have for the family and how best to get there, talk about the things that don’t feel right and how to fix them, talk about the challenges and the pressures you each feel in your roles in the family or at work. It’s these kinds of discussions that keep the air clear and your hearts and minds in tune with one another.
2. Power to Shift Gears. Couple time lets you take your “mom” hat off and put your “lover” hat back on. Let’s face it, it’s hard to flirt with a toddler on your hip. If you spend your days in faded yoga pants and an old t-shirt (what else would you wear to sweep up cheerios and do laundry?), you probably don’t feel the part of the attractive, sensual gal you were on your honeymoon. And when you don’t feel that way, you don’t act that way. Designated couple time gives you an excuse to put on a great outfit and a little lip gloss, and get the sexual energy flowing between you and your husband again. And any man will tell you that the physical connection is essential to a healthy marriage.
3. Power to Lead by Example. Couple time models for your children what a healthy marriage looks like. So many parents sacrifice time together in the name of parenting. But part of parenting is teaching your kids how to one day have a great marriage of their own. I promise you, a few hours a week with a trusted babysitter won’t hurt your kids a bit—they’ll probably look forward to it. But a set of parents who are chronically stressed out, disconnected and on different pages in their parenting styles will. Give your kids the security of knowing that mom and dad love each other—a lot.
4. Power to Touch Base. Couple time gives you a chance to resolve small issues before they become big ones. Often, just a brief exchange about a miscommunication, a financial decision, or a scheduling conflict can prevent a major blow-up down the road. Regular dates allow these little things to get aired out on a consistent, healthy basis.