What’s the “food feeling” in your house? Are you constantly talking about your weight, what you’re eating, what you’re not eating, and how you hate how you look? Do you comment on your children’s weight? There’s no way around it; how we handle the topics of food and weight in our homes can lead to food issues in our children, including anorexia, bulimia, and binge eating disorder.
So, if you have children, especially if you have daughters, this is for you:
Helping our children avoid food disorders starts at home, with us, mom. The words we say and the way we live our life have huge potential to negatively or positively influence our kids’ relationship with food. So here are 4 things moms can do to prevent eating disorders.
1. Don’t talk about their weight. When we see our kids packing on a few pounds as they reach for another donut, it can be easy to say, “Put that down. You don’t need it. You’re getting fat.” Ouch. Just reading those words should make you cringe.
Instead of talking about their weight, talk about their health. When your child reaches for that second or third donut say, “Sweetheart, we want our bodies to be healthy, and that donut has a lot of sugar. So let’s have something else instead.”
I remember when I started putting on weight in high school. I had been a skinny kid all of my life, but the emotional pressures of growing up, and easy access to drive-throughs started a vicious cycle of overeating. My mom, not knowing how to handle things, would comment on my weight, glare at me if she saw me eating, and let me know that she was ashamed of me. Her attitude just made me feel worse about myself, and caused me to try to hide my overeating.
If you see your child gaining weight, do not suggest a diet. The diet mindset is too much pressure for children, and even teens. Instead, use some of the other ideas on this list to help your child maintain a healthy weight in a healthy way.
Finally, you’ll also want to make sure your children’s dad never comments on their weight – either good or bad. Studies show that a child’s weight is influenced the most by media images, and what their fathers think.
2. Don’t talk about your weight. Does this sound like you? “My thighs are huge! I hate my butt. I need to lose about 10 pounds.” The more you focus on your weight and appearance, the more your daughter will. On the other hand, if you make it about being healthy, you’ll set a good example. So work on accepting yourself as is. If you want to lose weight, do it in a healthy way and don’t talk about it all of the time.
While you’re at it, since we know the media can influence how our daughters feel about their bodies, get rid of the magazines that scream, “Lose 10 Pounds in 10 Hours! The Secret to a Sexy Body!” And, “How Star _____ Got Her Bikini Body Back.”
As you see different healthy body types, comment on those. I have always pointed out to my daughter that “every body” is different, meaning there are many, healthy body types.
3. Eat at home. I don’t know about you, but when I’m served a massive meal at a restaurant, it’s tough for me not to eat most of it, or all of it. The bottom line is that it’s healthier to eat at home where you have control over the content and portion sizes of what your family eats. And, believe me, as one who is not the most creative of cooks, it doesn’t have to be fancy to taste good and be healthy.
If you can do most of your eating at home, try not to keep too many tempting foods around. Even Dr. Oz says there are things he just can’t have in his house or he’ll eat them up in one sitting. So, limit the sweets and treats to “once in a while” indulgences. As a friend of mine who spent time living in the Netherlands says, Alles met mata. In Dutch that means, everything in moderation. You don’t need to label foods as good or bad. Just make sure most of what your kids are eating falls into the healthier range.
And if you have a mix of kids—some naturally skinny, some not so skinny—even your skinny kids will be healthier if they fill up on healthy calories, not junky ones.
4. Walk the Walk. Get up and get moving and your kids are more likely to stay active too. Let your kids see you making fitness a priority. Again, not so that you can lose weight and fit into your skinny jeans, but so that you can be healthy (weight loss will just be a side benefit). Limit the amount of time you spend plopped in front of the TV or computer screen at home. Take walks with your kids. Ride bikes. Make getting healthy a family thing.
