4 Tips When You Ask for Forgiveness in Marriage
Asking for forgiveness requires you to humble yourself and to understand that receiving forgiveness from your husband is not a given.
1. Make an unconditional apology. An unconditional apology focuses on our responsibility in the matter not our husband’s. It should sound something like this, “I was wrong for what I did and I am so sorry.” Period. We don’t make excuses or point the finger at our mate. An unconditional apology should not sound like this, “I am sorry, BUT IF YOU wouldn’t have ______…” That is NOT an unconditional apology.
2. Humbly ask for the gift of forgiveness. Again, since forgiveness is not a guarantee, we must ask for it. After our apology, we need to sincerely ask our mate to forgive us.
3. Follow up with action. This is what gives substance to apologizing and asking for forgiveness. We need to sincerely repent or turn away from our wrongs. Whether it’s attitudes or actions, we need to show our husband that we are changing. And, we need to be open to their input as to what constitutes satisfactory change. Remember, he is the one who has been hurt so he might require more from us than we think necessary. But, we should be aware of his needs and be open to his suggestions.
4. Give your husband time. Even if our husband does accept our apology and grant forgiveness, we can’t expect things to be better right away. Now sure, you might get over the small things more quickly but for bigger things, it can take our husband time to warm up to us again. Be patient with them. Time will show that you are changing and are sincere about not hurting them again.
Nancy Jergins has written about relationship and family issues for more than 15 years, and does her best to enlighten and encourage others with her words.