When my husband and I were first married we were struggling with money. My husband had just started a commission-based job and wasn’t experiencing much success. I pictured our life looking different; mainly I wanted a beautiful kitchen to cook dinners for my husband and eventually our kids. But we couldn’t afford it. It was around that time that we visited a married couple who were friends of ours that moved away. When we arrived at their house I knew I was in trouble. Her kitchen was exactly what I had wanted and the more she talked about how much she loved it, the more and more emotional I became. I had to go to the bathroom several times to cry. I envied her and as much as I tried, overcoming jealousy can be difficult.
Jealousy gets the best of all of us from time to time—no matter our age or maturity. So it’s no wonder that it can be a big challenge for some kids. We need to make sure we are modeling the right attitudes. Envy can make even fortunate children dissatisfied and angry. So talk to your child about how to recognize those feelings and trade them in for more positive emotions. Here are 4 ways to help kids overcome envy and jealousy.
1. Remind her to count her blessings.
Often, jealous kids have lost sight of their own talents and worth and have become fixated on those of others. Remind your child of her own blessings, like a good friend, or an area where she excels. If we feel good about ourselves, we’re less likely to become envious of others.
2. Call it what it is.
Training your child to be honest with himself is important. So don’t tip-toe around why he doesn’t like Johnny right now. Just come out and say, “I know you’re probably jealous because he’s the pitcher and you wanted to be.” The first step to moving past a feeling is to admit that it’s there.
3. Demonstrate what being happy for others looks like.
Your kids are watching you closer than you know. If you consistently find it in yourself to be happy for the successes of others, even when you’re a little envious yourself, it will speak volumes to them about how they should react in a similar situation.
4. Don’t tolerate acting out in jealousy.
Draw a distinction between having a jealous feeling and being honest about it and actually acting on that feeling. Make sure your kids know that mean words or actions that are rooted in jealousy will not be tolerated.
How do you help your kids overcome jealousy?
