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5 Ways to Keep Your Promises to Your Kids

It’s easy to make promises to our kids, isn’t it? “Just a few minutes and I’ll throw the ball with you. I promise!” “I’ll never scream at you like that again.” “We’ll go get ice cream after school.” I made that last promise to my daughter this week. Then I had a change of heart about the amount of sweets we were taking in and decided to break that promise. It felt like the responsible thing to do. Unfortunately, what might have been a good decision for my daughter’s physical health was a bad decision for our relationship.

What do your actions say about the trustworthiness of your words? Do you make promises to your children easily and break them just as effortlessly? We need to be reliable for our children in the little things so they’ll trust us in the big things. When you keep your promises to your children, you’re laying a foundation for your relationship so they will come to you in the future. If you want to get better about your yeses being yeses, here are 5 ways to keep your promises to your kids.

We need to be reliable for our children in the little things so they’ll trust us in the big things. Click To Tweet

1. Think about how the promise is going to affect you.

If you say you’re going to get your daughter a dog, get ready to buy that dog food, and visualize those early mornings letting the dog out. In other words, really think about how your promise is going to affect you. Even for something as simple as “I’ll take you to the park today,” think through your day to make sure you can keep your promise.

2. Prioritize before you promise.

Don’t make a promise until you’ve figured out how you’ll keep it. We want to be able to say yes to our children most of the time, but it’s better to say yes to less than to overpromise and not be able to follow through. If making a promise to your kids means sacrificing your own sanity or backing out of an important commitment you’ve made, consider what needs to be your top priority at the moment.

3. Make sure your promise is realistic.

Do you really think that trip to Disney is possible? Are you actually going to make it out of work in time to go see that movie? Sure, you want to give your children the moon, but if it’s an unrealistic proposition, it’s better not to get their hopes up. When in doubt, don’t promise. Just make it a surprise instead.

4. Realize “maybe” can sound like “yes.”

When kids hear “maybe,” they have hope. If the answer is no, just say it. It’s OK for kids to be told no. It’s part of life, and hearing it from you is good preparation for the future.

5. If you break a promise, apologize. Then try again.

We all have to break a promise now and again. It’s best to try to avoid it, but if you do find that you have to go back on your word, be honest about it with your son or daughter, apologize, and admit you were wrong to do it. Work really hard at keeping your promise next time.

What about you? Were your parents good at keeping promises?

ASK YOUR CHILD...

When is the last time you broke a promise? When did someone break a promise to you?

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