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5 Ways to Teach Kids Patience at Any Age

The prayer I say most often as a mom is, “Lord, give me patience.” It’s a characteristic that comes more easily to some moms than others, but no one is born with it. What adds to the struggle is that while we are asking for patience for ourselves, we’re also supposed to be showing our kids how to practice it. That makes for some tricky business. Teaching patience isn’t easy, and grasping how to learn patience isn’t easy for kids either.

It’s important to start young. Little kids need small doses of patience to resist the temptation to snatch toys or to wait for their turn on the slide. But if you have older kids, like tweens and teens, the teaching moments aren’t behind you. They have opportunities to learn and practice patience in larger portions, like saving up money for a car. So get to work on building this characteristic in your kids today. Here are 5 practical ways to help your children grow in patience whether they’re 5 or 15.

1. Start small and start short.

Start requiring small doses of patience from your child at a very early age—even as toddlers. Of course, you may only be asking them to calm down and wait quietly for one or two minutes before you’ll put more milk in the sippy cup, but it’s a start. As kids get older, you can stretch the time to ask them to wait for longer periods until they get what they want.

2. Teach self-control.

For kids, learning patience includes understanding that they can and should control their emotions and actions, even when they are anxious, eager, or tired. Much easier said than done! Try to help your kids regain self-control before you fulfill their requests. For example, if there’s only one video game controller and your son is whining that he wants his turn, wait to give it to him until he changes his tone of voice. This will help instill the idea that acting out impatiently isn’t the way to get what you want.

For kids, learning patience includes understanding that they can and should control their emotions and actions, even when they are anxious, eager, or tired. Click To Tweet

3. Use purposeful delays.

In a world where instant gratification is everywhere, parents may need to purposefully delay some things for no other reason than to teach patience. If your daughter wants a new puppy, there may be no real reason for her not to have it right now. But waiting four months for her birthday might teach her that she can wait for things that matter and have it all turn out OK in the end. Research shows that kids who are able to delay gratification have higher SAT scores, lower BMIs, and appeared to be more successful overall.

4. Find more opportunities to practice taking turns.

When thinking about how to teach patience, nothing is better for a child than having to wait his or her turn for something fun. The only way to get better at this is to practice. If your child struggles with waiting for his or her turn on the swings, make more frequent trips to the park—not fewer—to reinforce the need to be courteous and patient. The repetition will help your child learn to cope with the wait.

5. Teach your older kids to be wise consumers.

One area where our culture has become increasingly impatient is consumer habits. Train your older children to manage their buying and to wait until they can truly afford an item before making a purchase. Resist the urge to loan them the last $20 until they’ve truly earned it—unless you want to keep loaning to them for the rest of their lives.

 What do you do to teach patience to your kids?

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Why do you think it’s important to learn how to wait?

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