A healthy childhood is one that finds the right balance between work and play. Children need chances to experience both success and failure, and to be challenged to do their best in something that doesn’t come easily. They also need to have fun!
Our generation is presented with a never-ending list of possible ways to spend money and time “enriching” our children’s lives, from yoga to oboe lessons. But not all activities are the right fit for your child. Here are some tips for weeding through the options and finding the right activity to help your child thrive.
1. Don’t pigeon-hole them too early.
Just because your son loved running the bases at age four doesn’t mean he won’t discover in middle school that music is his passion. As parents, we’re so busy trying to figure out what type of kid we have on our hands, we jump at the first clues and label them as an athlete, an artist, a musician, etc. It may be that your child is very well-rounded and likes to dabble in a variety of things, or that his abilities and interests grow and change as he does. If that’s the case, be willing to go with the flow and help him do well in a new endeavor.
2. Don’t be captive to their obvious abilities.
When I took my children to piano lessons the first time, the teacher raved afterward about what wonderful skill and natural hands my son had. The problem? He had absolutely no interest in playing the piano. It made me a little sad to throw away something that he might have a gift for, but ultimately, he’s got to want to work at whatever activity he chooses. And here’s the thing: the thing they want to do, but aren’t very good at, may be a great arena for learning to work hard and persevere.
3. What their/your friends are doing is not a primary concern.
When my daughter was in preschool, I enrolled her in dance classes because lots of my mom-friends were doing the same with their little girls. Pretty soon, it was obvious that she wasn’t into it, regardless of the fact that most of her playmates were in the class. Remember that this is a process of helping your child, not an outlet for you to socialize with friends or see and be seen in the “right” places.
4. Consider health and educational benefits.
If you or your child are struggling with what she should put on the extra-curricular calendar for the coming year, you can sometimes use the health or education benefits associated with one thing as a tie-breaker. If she already spends a lot of time engaged in the fine arts at school, but struggles with being too sedentary, then an active pursuit might be the best bet for after school. If your child already participates in a lot of physical sports, something that offers educational benefits, like music, might be the best choice.
What have you done to help identify an activity that’s a good fit for your child?
