Parenting

What Teens Really Want By The Numbers


Based on the numbers gathered in a survey I conducted most teens really want boundaries and their parents’ involvement in their lives.

1. Most teenagers say that they want to grow up to be a good person. If you had to choose between two ways that your parents could relate to you, which one would you choose to help you become the good person you want to be?

  • 77% – They set reasonable rules; they ensure that I do my homework; they care about who I hang out with and how healthy I am; and they try to create family time and stay involved in my life. -
  • 23% – They hang out with me; they usually buy me things I want; they usually let me do the things I want to do and go where I want to go; they don’t bug me about homework;
    and they don’t hold me to rules.

2. Imagine this scenario: Your parents don’t allow you to go to a concert with kids they suspect drink a lot, and you are furious. But later you find that everyone was drinking and driving home drunk. If you had been there, you would have had to make an uncomfortable choice between seeming uncool by refusing to get in the car or riding with a drunk driver. Looking back, are you glad your parents made you stay home?

  • 77% – Yes, although I may not admit it, I’m glad to have been spared that dilemma, which my parents may have anticipated.
  • 23% – No, I should have been able to make my own choice and I would have handled that dilemma fine.

3. Do you consider yourself a good kid?

  • 97%- Yes
  • 3% – No

4. Of the ones that consider themselves a good kid, have you committed any of these offenses three or more times: drinking, using drugs, wild partying, sneaking out, having sexual intercourse or oral sex, stealing, or drivin g at scary speeds (more than forty miles per hour above the speed limit

  • 46% – Yes
  • 54%No

Shaunti Feldhahn is a bestselling author, popular public speaker, and groundbreaking researcher. This wife of attorney-entrepreneur Jeff Feldhahn and mother of two, now applies her analytical skills to illuminating those important, surprising truths that people really need to understand about each other.



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