When my nephew was about 10 years old, he told my sister that I was the funniest person he knew. At least that’s what I thought he said. I was really flattered because I’d never really thought of myself as extra funny. Well, what my nephew actually said was that I was the sunniest person he knew. I liked that even more! It made me want to be sunny and happy around him so that I could live up to his vision of me.
The truth is, there are many days when I neither feel nor act sunny or happy. If you have those kinds of days, there are things you can try to increase your happiness. Take a look at these 10 habits happy women share and see which ones might be worth a shot.
1. Gratitude
Research shows that gratitude is one of the top habits that leads to happiness. It’s a choice to see the good on a hard day, to look for beauty in the ordinary, and to find joy in small things. A habit of gratitude opens our eyes to even more to be thankful for.
You can practice this habit by keeping a gratitude journal. It doesn’t have to be a dedicated notebook. Keep a running list in your notes app or jot down one thing each morning on a scrap sheet of paper before you leave your bedroom. You can also send an email or mail a card of gratitude to someone who’s made a difference in your life. One study showed that the letter writers underestimated how much it meant to the recipients to receive those notes of thanks.
2. Forgiveness
Stewing over past hurts and offenses leads to bitterness and a victim mentality, which becomes a roadblock to happiness. Choosing to forgive brings peace and helps us use that energy to move forward positively. It lowers stress and improves mental health, giving us a solid foundation to build happiness.
If you need to develop the habit of forgiveness, start by focusing on something small like forgiving the cashier who’s been rude to you. Try to feel empathy instead of anger. You can apply these five steps to forgiveness in marriage to other areas of your life.
3. Faith Over Fear
Fear is a thief that not only steals the happiness of the present but robs us of the joy to come. Faith is a choice to walk with God. When we walk with God, we can trust that he’s in control and smile at the days ahead.
You can combine the habit of exercising faith with your religious practices. The Pew Research Center found that religious people are more likely than non-religious people to describe themselves as very happy.
4. Contentment
So many people postpone happiness. They tell themselves that when XYZ happens, they’ll be happy. But happy women have learned to be content with their present circumstances. They haven’t given up on their dreams—they’ve chosen happiness on the way there.
Practice contentment by noticing the difference between needs and wants. Ask yourself how it would feel to be satisfied with less than you expected. Contentment doesn’t mean you give up your dreams or hopes for yourself or your family. It’s being OK with how things are now.
5. Self-Acceptance
Happy women are kind to themselves. They’ve learned to quiet the inner critic and lean into their gifts, personality, and purpose. They play to their strengths, work on their weak spots with grace, and embrace the truth that being fully themselves is exactly what their family needs them to be. Self-acceptance improves emotional well-being.
Practice this habit by treating yourself like you would treat your children. You would want your children to value themselves and see that they bring good to the world just as you do.
6. Giving Generously
Doing good is good for you. Experts call it the helper’s high. When we are kind and giving toward others, endorphins flood our body and improve our mood, leading to greater happiness.
Make giving generously a habit in your life by practicing it regularly with your kids. Here are eight ideas for you.
7. Enjoying Hobbies
Hobbies like gardening, cooking, or crafting are great for channeling passions and are gifts for sheer enjoyment. They help us de-stress and often connect us to a community that shares our passion. And remember, hobbies aren’t must-do’s—they’re get-to’s, which generate happiness.
If you don’t have an obvious hobby, consider all of the “grandma hobbies” that are surging in popularity: gardening, knitting, sewing, games like bridge and mahjong, and flower pressing.
8. Cheering Instead of Comparing
Comparing ourselves to others highlights what we don’t have and can lead us to envy what someone else has. Researchers call it “the thief of joy.” Happy women turn comparison on its head by cheering others on. That kind of authentic encouragement always creates deeper joy for the person doing the encouraging.
It can be tough to cheer on others if you’re in the habit of comparing yourself to others and feel like you’re never the one getting ahead. Try to tell yourself that there’s enough good in the world to go around. Double down on the habits of contentment and gratitude when you need a boost.
9. Self-Care
Self-care includes taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. This includes exercising regularly and getting enough sleep. It’s filling your emotional love tank. When we’re emotionally and physically nourished, we have a greater sense of well-being and are happier.
Practice the habit of self-care by doing your best to get enough sleep. Try to fit exercise into your day. There are seven-minute workouts that will improve your health and your happiness.
10. Saying No
Over-committing to activities and demands can lead to depression, which will quickly sap our joy. Learning to say no is a wise habit that happy women share to preserve their capacity for what matters most and brings the most happiness.
Practice saying no by answering, “Let me get back to you on that” when someone asks you to do something.
What is one step you can take this week to cultivate happiness?
