Simplifying my life seemed way easier before a child arrived on the scene—followed by another. Suddenly, my quiet, spa-like oasis at home turned into bins overflowing with diapers, Duplos, and doodads all the other kids had. My calendar filled up with playdates, then practices and games and volunteering at school. (And, oh yeah, work.) Somewhere along the way, the overflow of stuff didn’t just stay in my house. It crept into my mind, my margins, my quiet moments…until there weren’t many of those left.
As moms, we carry a lot. And while not all of it is within our control, some of the weight comes from things we’ve gradually added over time (good things, even!) that no longer fit whatever season of parenthood we find ourselves in. But thankfully, simplifying your life can begin to take shape with small, intentional shifts and steps. Consider these 7 areas.
1. Shed some stuff.
Before kids, my husband and I would each pack a little weekender bag and zip away for a few days. And then Emmy came along and our list of things to pack just to leave the house for the park filled up our trunk. By the time baby number two arrived, we “needed” an SUV for it all. But that was just a season. As our kids grew, the things they needed—the pack-n-play, the diaper bag, the stroller, the bag of snacks—slowly shrank.
As moms, the things that serve us well in one season don’t always carry the same importance in the next. But holding onto them can weigh us down. A UCLA study found that mothers who described their homes as cluttered had elevated stress hormone levels throughout the day. The clutter in our homes has a way of becoming clutter in our minds.
So go for the small wins. Tackle one closet, clear out one toy bin, and donate or resell outgrown items. And, Mom, it’s normal to feel nostalgic about letting go of that one toy your child used to be obsessed with years ago. Choose a few to set aside for your future grandchildren or stage a photoshoot to preserve the memories.
2. Reevaluate your calendar.
Over-commitment is one of the sneakiest sources of pressure for moms, because it usually happens one good thing at a time. The book club with your girlfriends, the volunteering with the PTA, the extra practice for your tween, and the birthday parties for the next three Saturdays. None of it is bad. But all of it together? That’s how a calendar becomes a second (or third) job.
If you’re looking to simplify your life, ask yourself a clarifying question with each potential commitment: Does this calendar event reflect what matters most to our family right now? Prioritizing based on your core values and family goals looks different in every season. If spiritual growth is a priority, church activities rise to the top. If your kids are in the thick of a demanding school year, social events might need to step back for a while. Just because something is good doesn’t mean it’s the right fit for right now.
3. Practice saying no.
You’re a doer, right? Moms gotta be. We get things done! But often, the, um, reward for being so productive is that people constantly ask you to plan the class party, bring the snacks to the game for the team, or show up early to help set up. This is another one of those areas where your core values need to drive the prioritization, and a realistic understanding of your limitations needs to set the boundaries.
You can’t do it all—and if you try, you probably won’t do it all well. Choose your commitments carefully, and do a great job, with joy, on fewer things.
Saying no is a skill, so give yourself grace as you practice it (especially if you’re a people pleaser). A simple, kind response is all you need: “I’m not able to commit to that right now, but thank you for thinking of me.” No explanation or guilt required.
4. Give your work life a fresh look.
An honest look at your work life might be one of the most clarifying things you can do. Does your current situation actually fit this season, or is it adding weight you weren’t expecting? Half of the working moms you know are experiencing burnout right now. And maybe you’re one of them.
If a demanding role or long commute is complicating everything else in your life, it’s worth a conversation with yourself, and if you’re married, with your husband. Seasons change, and so can the division of roles at home and at work. Maybe this is the season where your husband carries more of the financial weight (or household management) so you can step back. Or maybe the kids are more independent now and you’re finally ready to step back in, and he can adjust accordingly.
As with everything else, simplifying your life isn’t one-size-fits-all, especially around working inside and outside the home. Evaluate what works best for your family, not what everyone else seems to be doing.
5. Clean up your finances.
Few things can simplify your life, relieve your stress, and restore your peace of mind like getting a grip on your money. Financial stress is a reality for more than 9 in 10 women, according to a 2024 Fidelity Investments study and it doesn’t matter what’s in the bank. The mental weight of financial uncertainty quietly complicates everything else on this list.
Even micro steps toward clarity can lift a surprising amount of weight. Start with a basic budget. There are plenty of apps that make it easier than ever to see where your money is actually going. Top-rated ones include Monarch and Quicken Simplifi. Once you can see how your money flows in and out, you can start making intentional decisions about it. And if you’re married, this is also a great place to get on the same page with your husband. A shared financial vision takes one more thing off the mental load.
6. Create space to unplug from social.
When you’re constantly flooded with information, comparison, and advertising disguised as a funny reel about motherhood, it becomes harder to organize your thoughts, priorities, and, honestly, your peace. Research shows that idealized portrayals of motherhood on social media increase envy and anxiety in mothers. And the algorithm keeps serving them up.
The digital world has a way of telling you what your current season of motherhood should look like (and how your kids should be acting and what they should be doing). Most of that isn’t real life, and most of it isn’t helping.
Give your brain space to be in the moment. Designate one phone-free hour in the evening, turn off social media notifications, or swap 20 minutes of scrolling for a walk, a book, or a conversation with your kids.
7. Stop performing motherhood.
There’s a version of motherhood that looks really good on the outside. The curated snack boards, the themed birthday parties, and the perfectly polished and posed family shots during golden hour all come to mind. And then there’s the version that actually happens in your home, in this season, with these kids, on this budget, with this much sleep.
Simplifying your life sometimes means giving yourself permission to close the gap between those two versions. You can stop performing for an audience that isn’t even watching. The only ones who are earnestly paying attention and following you are your family. And they need you present, unhurried, and real.
The simplest version of motherhood doesn’t always photograph well, but it is the one that feels most like home. Be her.
Have you taken any steps to simplify your life lately? Share what’s helped.
