When I first became a mom, I felt so much pressure to do everything right. I thought that meant getting Emmy on the waiting list for the “best” daycare, filling the nursery with the “best” educational toys and books, and studying up on the “best” way to raise her. I knew from working in early childhood education that 90 percent of brain development happens in the first five years. And that info ramped up my need to get this parenting thing right.
Turns out I didn’t really need to stress so much. The “best” thing my baby needed was time with me. The healthy cognitive development of a newborn depends so much on the normal things moms already do so well! Seriously! Here’s how your daily interactions shape your little one’s brain in all the best ways.
1. Your love shapes her security.
When you respond to your baby’s cries, you’re doing far more than soothing her in the moment. You’re wiring her brain for trust (and more). Neuroscientists call this “serve and return” interaction: she reaches out (the serve), and you respond with love and attention (the return). These simple moments with each other build strong neural pathways in her brain’s emotional center, giving her a lasting sense of security.
Brain-Building Moments: When your baby cries, she’s serving the ball your way. Even if you don’t know what she needs right away, you return the serve by picking her up, making eye contact, and speaking gently. Over time, your calm presence reassures her that you’re a reliable partner and strengthens your bond.
2. Your words shape his language.
From day one, your baby’s brain is wired to take in every sound from every language. However, neural pathways strengthen for repeated sounds and fade for others. So the more he hears your words, the more his brain tunes into the language sounds that matter most, like how you roll your Rs or enunciate your vowels.
Brain-Building Moments: Your baby loves your voice. Repeat his coos, name what he touches, or sing while you change his diaper. Be the voiceover for his day. Narrate what he’s doing, what you’re picking up on that Target run, or even describe just how adorable he looks in those footed PJs!
3. Your play shapes her creativity and problem-solving.
The cognitive development of a newborn and older babies looks a lot like fun and games for a reason. It’s how your baby learns about her world. Different types of play activate different neural networks, encouraging creativity, attention, and problem-solving skills.
Brain-Building Moments: Let her take the lead during playtime. Follow her gaze, mimic her sounds, or explore a toy together. Even simple, repetitive games help her begin to understand patterns and cause-and-effect.
4. Your routine shapes his sense of stability
Predictable daily routines help develop the prefrontal cortex—the brain’s “control center.” (Yep. Just like from the movie Inside Out!) And the familiar routines strengthen the neural connections, making his world feel safe, predictable, and easier to understand.
Brain-Building Moments: Develop a simple bedtime routine. A familiar song before bed or a little cuddle after the last diaper change sends the message: You’re safe. You can trust the world around you.
5. Your encouragement shapes her confidence.
Of course, your baby has a lot to learn. She just arrived on the scene! Every time she figures something out for the first time, like rolling over or grasping that toy, her brain gets a little dopamine boost, the “feel-good” chemical that rewards learning and effort.
Brain-Building Moments: Celebrate her wins. Your smiles, claps, and kind words light up her brain’s reward system, creating a feedback loop that motivates her to keep trying, exploring, and growing.
What resources or books about the cognitive development of a newborn did you find most helpful?
