My kids came home to me at 3:30 p.m. on Friday afternoon, and by 5:30, one was complaining about a lost iPad charger, the other was whining about dinner, and someone (possibly me) had muttered something unrepeatable under her breath.
This was not the cozy, quality time I had envisioned. When you’re coparenting, you want custody weekends to be magical. In reality, they’re often rushed and emotionally loaded. But the goal isn’t perfection—it’s connection. And there are simple ways to make your weekends feel less like a blur and more like genuine family bonding. Here are 7 ways to make the most of your custody weekend with your kids.
1. Pick one thing.
When you’re working within custody schedules, it’s tempting to fill your custody weekend with activities: the park, a movie, Grandma’s house, and a craft project by Sunday evening. But kids remember moments, not jam-packed itineraries. Choose one “highlight” activity for the weekend—ice skating, a backyard campout, or making homemade pizza—and let the rest be simple. If Saturday’s big thing is the science museum, let Sunday be pancakes in pajamas.
2. Schedule downtime on purpose.
Kids need unstructured time to reset, especially if their week is packed with school, activities, and transitions between homes. Block off a few hours with no agenda—no chores, no rushing. Just be together and leave room for conversations—or wherever the moment takes you.
A study published in Frontiers in Psychology found that children who spend more time in less-structured activities—like free play, casual social outings, and self-chosen enrichment like reading—get better at managing their own little lives, including goal-setting, decision-making, and self-regulation. Structured activities don’t have the same effect. Encouraging downtime isn’t just restful—it supports your kids’ emotional and cognitive growth.
3. Let them help make plans.
Kids are more likely to be engaged if they have a say in what you do together. Hand them a notepad or open a shared family chat before the weekend and ask for ideas. Even if their suggestions are wild (“Let’s go to Paris!”), you can usually find a scaled-down version (“How about we eat croissants and watch Ratatouille?”). Giving them a voice helps them feel valued and heard, teaches them how to collaborate on plans, and takes some of the pressure off you to come up with ideas.
4. Make the most of errands.
A trip to the grocery or hardware store may not sound like quality time, but errands can actually open space for connection. The car ride gives you uninterrupted minutes for casual conversation, and inside the store, everyday tasks turn into teaching opportunities: how to choose the ripest avocado, why you check expiration dates, or how to stick to a budget.
These ordinary life moments matter because your kids get to see you in action, managing the details that keep a household running. It reminds them that being a family isn’t about constant entertainment; it’s about living life together. And someday, when they’re on their own, they’ll remember more than your advice about produce; they’ll remember the feeling of belonging that came with just tagging along.
5. Be realistic about your energy.
If you’re running on fumes, you’re not going to be your best self. That doesn’t mean you can’t have fun—it means setting expectations you can actually meet. Maybe Sunday afternoon is for a movie and popcorn on the couch instead of a trip to the trampoline park. When you pace yourself, you model healthy self-care, which is something your kids need to see.
6. Capture (and retell) the little stuff.
Snap a picture of your child’s yogurt parfait masterpiece, record his laugh when the dog steals a sock, or jot down the joke he told at dinner. You’re building a record of your life together—not just for Instagram, but for your own memory bank.
Research from Emory University shows that children who know more about their family stories and shared moments tend to have stronger self-esteem, resilience, and emotional health. These little memories are the threads that keep your family identity intact, even across households. So look back on old photos together, share stories about your childhood, and make that call to Grandpa so he can tell you (again!) about that giant fish he caught in 1991.
7. Avoid comparing your life to their father’s.
Instead of trying to “out-fun” your co-parent, focus on creating an atmosphere of safety, love, and genuine connection in your own home. The more secure your kids feel with you, the less they’ll compare their experiences to those with their father.
Custody weekends can feel short, but they don’t have to feel shallow. Whether you’re playing Scrabble, grocery shopping together, or laughing on the couch, you’re building something lasting. The goal isn’t to fit it all in—it’s to make the time you do have feel like home.
When you look back on your weekends with your kids, what moments stand out the most?
