“What do you want to do with these?” my husband asked, holding up our old squash rackets. He’d just stumbled upon them as we cleaned the basement. I took one and swung it gently. “I can’t believe how long it’s been since we played,” I said, remembering long, sweaty matches. “Before we had kids.” I missed playing and I missed being able to go off and do things with my husband on a whim. Being able to play a game together—squash, Scrabble, or whatever—made an ordinary day together more fun. “Let’s hang on to them,” he said, setting the rackets back on the shelf. “We might play again.” In the meantime, we needed to find something more exciting to do together than clean the basement.
Finding time for a squash match might not happen this week or next, but we can make things lively at home, even while we do boring basement tasks. These 5 fun challenges for married couples will up your marriage game anywhere you’re together—no rackets necessary.
1. The “Lend-Me-Your-Ears” Challenge
“Uh-huh,” I said. But an article on my computer had my attention, not my husband, who stood a couple feet away, saying something about work. I tried to read and listen at the same time, but it didn’t work. “So, I need to get to bed early,” he concluded. I looked up. “What?” I asked. He scowled. “Were you listening?” Um. No.
Try this challenge for a week. Listen to your husband without distractions for five to 10 minutes a day. Then have him listen to you. If you think you can clean the basement or do dinner dishes together during this time, that’s fine. Just no phones, no reading, and no TV. If you can find time when the kids aren’t going to interrupt, even better. And if you make it seven days straight, celebrate with a special dessert or movie!
2. The “You Pick” Challenge
Each day, you or your husband picks something you’ll do together. On Monday night, my husband wanted to watch football. “So does this mean you’re going to sit here and watch it with me?” he asked. I smiled and agreed. The next day, he helped me bake cookies after the kids went to bed. On Wednesday, he said, “Let’s watch a show while the kids are at their activities.” I couldn’t wait to propose drinks on the back patio the next night.
For this fun challenge for married couples, take turns throughout the week. Another idea: You could also make it a weekly challenge. Every Saturday night, you alternate picking something to do together. Maybe your husband doesn’t usually watch baking shows? On your night, he will. Just be ready to scrub toilets together when it’s his turn if your husband has a weird sense of humor like my husband.
3. The “Go-to-Bed-Early” Challenge
This challenge could leave you both feeling better about yourselves as well as your relationship. Because I’m sort of a night owl, I’d need an incentive for this one. “Let’s be in bed every night a half hour earlier,” I proposed. “And if we do, we can have Ben & Jerry’s on night 8.”
With this challenge, you’re going to get more rest. More rest means better health. And who knows? Going to bed early might leave more time for snuggles under the sheets with your husband.
4. The “Kiss-in-Front-of-Your-Kids” Challenge
Are you good at this one? Kiss goodbye, kiss hello? Sometimes we get so busy with work, hobbies, or just being a mom that we forget to prioritize our husbands. Try to rekindle those initial feelings you had for your guy with this challenge.
A quick kiss here and there shows your kids your love and commitment to one another. It also gives your child a sense of security in knowing your relationship is solid. Chicago Parent says kisses show kids that “parents value each other.” Maybe this’ll be an easy challenge for the week. Make it tougher by providing a number: 10 kisses in front of the kids before bedtime. Let us know how it goes!
5. The “Mom-and-Dad-Alone-Time” Challenge
This one’s a toughie. How do you find alone time when you have little ones wanting your nonstop attention or bigger kids who need help with homework or rides every night of the week? “Come on,” I said to my husband yesterday before he could take off his shoes. “There’s a bird’s nest you have to see.” I led him to the back yard. We only spent five minutes out there, but being alone for a few moments was nice.
This challenge has to be very intentional. If you want more time, maybe you can schedule one night a week when the kids get dinner first, followed by a nicer meal with just the two of you.
Maybe Sunday nights are earlier bedtimes for the kids so you both can watch your favorite show. Challenge yourselves to commit to a night of alone time once a week for a month. Can you do it?
If you like the idea of a kissing challenge, try our 14-Day Kiss Your Husband Challenge. (But save some of these kisses for private moments when your kids aren’t around!)
Fun challenges for married couples can keep you both on your toes! Which one will you try?
