My husband can usually sleep through anything, but even he couldn’t sleep through the singing coming from Emmy’s room. After being put down for the night, our toddler woke up two hours later. Rather than rolling over and going back to sleep, she decided to make up a song about being awake. Her performance continued until I shuffled into her room for another tuck-in. Unfortunately, that wasn’t a one-hit wonder, and her singing continued nightly for weeks.
Many young children naturally wake up at night. They aren’t hungry, don’t need to use the potty, they aren’t sick. And it’s not sleep regression, either. They just haven’t learned how to fall back asleep on their own. If you’re up at night Googling “how to get 2-year-olds to sleep” (and stay that way!), stop scrolling and try these 5 proven methods instead.
1. Stick to a soothing nighttime routine.
Routines and rituals set the stage—or make the bed—for a good night’s sleep. And there’s a reason. Routines help children feel safe and secure because they know what happens next in the order of the day. And a predictable bedtime pattern puts them in a relaxed mindset.
Keep your bedtime routine simple: bath, cozy pajamas, storytime, and a lullaby or prayer. Find what works for your child, such as playing the same song each night or Mommy giving butterfly kisses to signal it’s time to wind down. In our house, we sang “My Bonnie” every night before turning off the light.
2. Understand your child’s sleep patterns.
During nighttime rest, most toddlers and preschoolers progress through three different sleep cycles. Think of it as a 90-minute loop that repeats all night. Your child starts with a light sleep (where clicking the bedroom door shut too loudly might wake her), then progresses into a deep sleep, and finally transitions to REM sleep, where dreams occur. Then, the cycle starts all over.
When your child is in light sleep again, she might easily wake up and call out to you. Over time, you can start to see her sleep pattern emerge and anticipate the timing of her awake moments. This can help you know when your child might just be stirring briefly with the potential for her to fall asleep on her own or if something else caused her to wake up, like a diaper that needs changing.
3. Teach her self-soothing techniques.
As babies, our kids often fall asleep in our arms before we put them in the bassinet or crib. If they start to stir, a gentle sway or bounce lulls them back to dreamland. But, as our kids get older, they need to learn how to fall back asleep without our bounce-bounce-sway-sway. That’s where self-soothing techniques come into play. That’s just fancy wording for snuggling a stuffed animal, rubbing a cool satin blankie on her cheek, or sucking on a binky or thumb.
“When a child has one of these normal wakings at night and can reach around in bed and grab their pacifier or start sucking their thumb to soothe, then they can easily return to sleep on their own and start the next sleep cycle,” explains Terese Amble, a pediatric sleep psychologist at Children’s Minnesota Hospital.
4. Avoid immediate response to whimpers.
When you hear your little one making noises at night, take a beat before going into her room. She might just be stirring between cycles. In those few minutes, you give her space to practice self-soothing and navigate those transitions on her own. If you feel unsure, take a peek at the monitor and silently cheer on her efforts to go back asleep.
Of course, if your child’s crying goes up a notch or you know something’s really wrong, go check. But for those soft whimpers? A little patience can go a long way in helping your child figure it all out (and for you to figure out how to get 2-year-olds to sleep).
5. Set boundaries.
Setting clear sleep boundaries with your child encourages him to develop healthy sleep habits. A small research study showed that using a bedtime pass can be an effective tool for how to get 2-year-olds to sleep. This “pass” can be a simple index card with PASS written on it (or go all out with decorating one!). It’s like a get-out-of-bed-free card that your child can use once a night for a quick hug or drink. Give your child the pass and explain that he can use it one time each night. This gives your child a sense of control while still keeping limits in place. Your child will practice self-regulation skills as he determines, “Do I really need to use my pass, or can I wait?”
What do you find the most challenging about how to get 2-year-olds to sleep?
