During the spring, my friend often received a single-word text from her daughter: Sad. No explanation. No emoji. Just a word that put my friend on edge. Sometimes, she said, her daughter would smile and seem like herself. But often, the low feelings (and even crankiness) returned. With summer finally upon them, my friend thought her daughter’s mood would lift. But it didn’t. She wasn’t sure how to help her teenager with depression.
Of course, my friend was fortunate in a way. Her daughter had clued her in to how she was feeling. If you’re in a similar situation and worried about your child, you’re not alone. Depression in teens has been on the rise. Here are 5 signs and how to help your teenager with depression.
1. She’s melancholy, prone to tears, and sad.
These are the symptoms we tend to think of when talking about depression. They’re also more typical for girls than boys. She may say, “I’m just so sad,” or she may say nothing at all. Does she mope around the house? Have you found her teary-eyed in bed? If this is not your teen’s typical behavior, and it occurs most days for more than two weeks, she may be depressed.
Do this today: Approach your teen with gentleness and love. Open a conversation: How have you been lately? Listen without judgment.
2. He’s irritable and aggressive.
Sure, teens will push boundaries to see what you’ll accept. But if your teen’s more irritable than usual, and it seems like he has a short fuse, he could be depressed. Though both boys and girls may exhibit this sign of depression, it’s more typical in teen boys. He may lash out, throw things, or crumple up a homework assignment that frustrates him. Health and medical news reporter Erika Edwards says teen boys are experiencing the same levels of depression as girls, but their symptoms are going unnoticed because they look different. If these are new behaviors, it’s a good idea to figure out if depression is the cause.
Do this today: Even when he’s angry or rude, let him know your love is unconditional. Don’t take your teen’s words personally. Depression is treatable. Start the process with a call to your child’s pediatrician.
3. She feels hopeless.
Things are never going to change. Whether she says this, or it comes out through her behavior, it’s a sign she needs help. Teens who aren’t depressed tend to be more optimistic about the future, but depressed teens tend to be more negative. This can be really scary for a parent. If a teen’s depressed, it may be hard for her to think that anything will ever be different from what she’s going through at that moment.
Do this today: Take action. “If your teen claims nothing is wrong but has no explanation for what is causing the depressed behavior, you should trust your instincts,” says the mental health nonprofit HelpGuide. Find a trained and licensed professional to step in. “The important thing is getting [your teen] talking to someone.”
4. He has difficulty focusing or making decisions.
A teen I know went through a period of depression early in high school. His mom said one symptom that stood out was his inability to focus on homework. “He’d stare at his screen for hours and get almost nothing done,” she told me. She learned that depression can change your ability to think. “It can impair your attention and memory,” as well as your “decision-making skills” and “ability to take all the steps to get something done,” according to Harvard psychologist James Cartreine, PhD. High school isn’t easy, but if you’re seeing this sign, don’t brush it off as nothing.
Do this today: Get your teen moving. Exercise improves mood, relieves stress, improves memory, and helps you sleep better, according to the HelpGuide. “Research indicates that modest amounts of exercise can make a real difference” and can have a profound, positive impact on depression.
5. Her sleep pattern has changed.
If your teen’s depressed, another sign is a change in his sleep pattern. She may have trouble falling sleep. Or she may sleep more than usual. It’s true that teens tend to fall asleep later in adolescence, but depression in teens can make sleep problems worse.
Do this today: Set screen time limits. “Teens often go online to escape their problems, but when screen time goes up, physical activity and face time with friends goes down,” says the HelpGuide. A lack of sleep, exercise, and social connection can be a recipe for worsening depressive symptoms. Encourage your teen to take a break from screens and go for a walk or meet up with a friend.
Other signs to be aware of:
A change in appetite. A lack of motivation. A loss of interest in activities. A noticeable switch to talking or joking about suicide. “Not everyone who is depressed shows all these symptoms,” says the National Institute of Mental Health. “Some people experience only a few symptoms, while others experience many.” To help your teenager with depression, reach out to a medical health professional today. The sooner you do, the sooner your teen can get back to enjoying her life.
How will you help your teenager with depression if you’ve spotted some of these warning signs?
