A relative was in a fight with her husband, and it was questionable whether he would come to the event we were all scheduled to attend. When I saw her car pulling up, I walked over and attempted to console her by jokingly saying, “So the bum decided not to come, huh?” At that moment, her husband leaned forward from the back seat and said, “No. The bum is right here.” Mortified, I apologized profusely to him. Afterward, he was angry at me for quite some time.
Later, I shared what happened with my kids. Being vulnerable about how I messed up allowed me to teach my kids the importance of not putting someone down for the sake of making someone else feel better. Letting our guard down can be a powerful parenting tool. Discover 5 life lessons we teach our kids by being vulnerable about our weaknesses.
1. It teaches them how to navigate their shortcomings.
Children learn by example, and they will learn many valuable tools as they watch how you handle the challenges you face when your flaws confront you. How you overcome the consequences and the steps you put into place to change yourself are powerful lessons they would never learn any other way.
2. It shows them how humility strengthens relationships.
The humility they observe in you as you make amends for things you’ve done wrong teaches your children that it’s OK to make mistakes and how to make it right. When you apologize to people in front of your kids, it models how to clean up emotional messes in relationships. And when you humbly apologize to your kids for behaviors in you that have hurt them, it not only heals the rift between you and them but also teaches them what healthy relationships look like.
3. It creates a safe environment for them to come to you when they mess up.
Having your children come to you voluntarily when their failings cause problems is a dream come true for a mom. Instead of having to lecture them and hoping they’re taking it in, they are coming to you openly and inviting your advice. You then know they are taking it in and applying your advice because they have asked for it.
4. It shows them that perfection is an impossible attainment.
No matter how hard we try, no one is perfect. The frustration of trying to accomplish perfection is especially difficult for children. Academia and peers put a lot of pressure on kids to be perfect in order to succeed. Being vulnerable about your imperfections gives your kids the space to relax and know that they don’t have to be perfect because even their role models aren’t perfect.
5. It teaches them that life is a process of growth and learning.
As you let them see you grow and work on your shortcomings, they learn that life is always presenting opportunities to become better and to overcome. They learn the specific methods they see you implement to bring change. Whether that be trackable plans, greater accountability, taking classes, or applying strategies for change, they are picking up skills they can apply in their own lives.
What mistakes have you made that could be great lessons for your children?
