I wake up many days vowing to practice patience with my kids. For me, that word “practice” takes the pressure off operating at an expert level and gives me the grace to recognize I’m a work in progress. Motherhood stretches us thin, and patience often feels like the first thing to go. That’s why I love a simple tool called HALT.
Used in counseling circles, HALT is a quick self-check for emotional overload. It stands for Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired—the four states that most often sabotage our calm. When you feel yourself unraveling, HALT invites you to pause and ask, “What do I really need right now?” Here’s how this little acronym can be just the thing that leads to practicing more patient parenting.
H is for Hungry.
Low blood sugar doesn’t care how old you are. It makes moms just as cranky as toddlers and teens. Meeting your own basic needs is a foundational part of patient parenting and being a better mom. And while finishing your child’s leftovers might feel efficient, Mom, your body deserves a real meal.
Patience Practices:
- Create a “mom snack zone.” Stock quick, healthy snacks just for you in your pantry, purse, or car. I’ve learned to eat about 20 minutes before school pickup, so I’m emotionally ready to be present.
- Stay hydrated. Sometimes what feels like impatience is really just dehydration in disguise. Research from the University of Connecticut shows even mild dehydration can drag down your mood and energy.
- Practice the “Pause and Fuel” technique. When you feel your patience fraying, tell yourself, “I need to fuel my body before I respond.” Take 30 seconds to drink ice water and have a quick protein bite. You can even involve your child! Say: “Let’s both take a minute to calm our bodies with a little fuel.” This small reset can prevent a full-blown meltdown for both of you.
A is for Angry.
Feeling the emotion of anger doesn’t make you a bad mom. It’s just your body’s way of sending up a distress signal. You might not feel Hulk-level furious, but maybe you’re irritated that no one notices how much you’re doing. Maybe you’re stewing over yet another sleepless night or silently resentful that your husband somehow isn’t as drained as you are.
Unprocessed anger can simmer under the surface until it boils over. And more often than not, it spills onto (and burns) the people we love most. But when you pause to acknowledge it and process it in healthy ways, you’re better able to practice patient parenting, love your family well, and avoid needing to apologize.
Patience Practices:
- Step away for 60 seconds. Take deep, intentional breaths. Even a short pause can interrupt the heat of the moment.
- Vent to your Notes app. Journaling helps move the emotion out of your body and onto the page.
- Move the emotion. Walk around the block, shake it out, or put on a song, and dance. Moving your body can move the anger out of your system faster than you’d expect.
L is for Lonely.
Even in a house full of noise and kids constantly asking for something, many moms feel alone. But even small moments of real connection can go a long way toward restoring your emotional reserves and your patience.
Patience Practices:
- Text a friend just to say hi, or send a funny meme. Connection doesn’t have to be deep to be meaningful.
- Schedule a regular walk or coffee with someone who gets it. Even 30 minutes of face-to-face time can recharge your perspective.
- Lean into micro-connection moments. A kind word to the barista, waving to a neighbor, or sending a quick voice memo to a friend—these small touches can send the feel-good hormone coursing through your body.
T is for Tired.
Exhaustion makes everything harder, including patience. So why do we so often treat rest like a luxury or a bonus for getting everything done, rather than the necessity it truly is? Mom, you don’t need to earn rest. You need it—to think clearly, love well, and simply function.
And for the record, sleep and rest are not the same thing. Sleep is biological; eventually, your body will shut down no matter how much you fight it! But, rest? That’s spiritual. It requires intention. And it’s a reminder that your worth isn’t measured by how much you get done.
Patience Practices:
- Take a 10-minute power nap. Even a short sleep can reset your nervous system and give your brain a boost.
- Manage your energy, not just your time. Notice what drains you and what fills you—and make space for what restores.
- Create Sabbath moments. Build in rhythms of spiritual rest—time to breathe, pray, and just be in God’s presence.
Bonus: Teach HALT to your kids.
HALT isn’t just helpful for grown-ups. Teaching your kids to identify when they’re hungry, angry, lonely, or tired gives them emotional awareness and tools for self-regulation. A simple, “Do you need a snack or a break?” can often stop a meltdown in its tracks.
The next time your patience is running on fumes, HALT. Ask yourself, “What do I really need right now?” When you take care of your needs, you’re better able to practice patient parenting.
Which part of HALT—Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired—tends to trip you up the most?
