Years ago, a young man at church came up to me to share that he had been watching porn and wanted help to stop. I immediately pulled his mom into the conversation. We talked through the plan for helping her son stop watching porn, and the mom helped her son find freedom.
A few weeks after, I followed up with the mom to see how things were going, and she shared some profound truths with me about porn addiction in children. She said she felt guilty because she saw the signs of her son’s porn use but failed to act upon them. While these signs are not always connected to porn use, if you see them in your kids, you should address them. Porn addiction in children (and even just occasional porn use) has ripple effects on many areas of their lives. It impacts social, emotional, and cognitive development. Here are 3 signs your kid might be watching porn.
1. Increased Isolation
Watching porn typically is connected to shame and guilt. These emotions are linked directly to isolation. Do your kids suddenly seem isolated and want more space than they used to?
There may be other reasons for isolation, but it is always good to investigate when you see it. According to Ted Shimer, a leading voice for porn addiction recovery, “(of) students who watched porn last year, 43% said they isolated from their relationships because of their porn use.”
2. Increased Secrecy
Most kids watch porn in privacy. Because porn is a secret, they begin to deceive themselves and those they love. Does he get nervous when you have his phone in your hand? Does she only crack the door when you want to come into her room?
As the mom, you know when your child is trying to hide something. Trust your instincts. If your kid is hiding something, it may be a sign he or she is watching porn or it may not. Regardless, this behavior is worth a conversation with your child.
3. Increased Casual Use of Sexual Language
A friend of mine recently told me her daughter has been openly telling stories of her high school friends’ current sexual escapades. She was taken aback by her language and by what her friends are doing. The mom didn’t know her daughter knew those words.
While my friend may seem naive, through these conversations and questions, she found out her daughter was struggling with watching porn. For this mom, her daughter’s casual use of sexual language was the indicator.
What other signs should we be looking for?
