My friend Meg has three kids, and she said one (or more) is always on a screen. “When I’m feeding the little one, I let the older two play on their iPads. When I’m out and need my toddler to behave, I let her play on my phone. I know it’s not the best thing in the world, but what am I supposed to do?” She sounded exasperated, but reducing screen time felt impossible.
We’re the first generation of parents managing screen time on multiple devices. There are benefits of having a device handy for distraction, but we know there are drawbacks as well. Reducing screen time without a fight is possible. Here are 5 ways to cut back.
1. Collaborate with the kids to come up with a plan.
Even little ones can help brainstorm ideas for what to do. When asked, my friend’s son Sam suggested a coloring book to use in the shopping cart. His brother Charlie suggested library books to read in the car. It might be a bumpy start when reducing screen time, but new habits take time. With patience, the kids will get used to the routine and might even learn new skills like problem-solving, conflict resolution, and using their words better to express their feelings.
2. Create tech-free zones.
Before my kids got their own phones, I let them play on mine. But these days, 40% of children own a phone by fifth grade, says Dr. Michael Breus. That means they’re in their pockets to and from school and probably throughout the afternoon and evening. If we want to reduce screen time, a good way to get started is to establish tech free zones. Think: the dinner table, the homework table (if possible), and in cars. Having tech-free time an hour before bed is a good idea too. If the kids are aware of these limits, they might not even argue. And protecting these tech-free zones can help your family focus more on connection and quality sleep, two things that benefit everyone.
3. Promote social interactions.
Taking something away is easier when you have something else to fill the void. If the kids usually veg on the couch after school with devices in hand, try filling that time with a playdate, an extra hour at the school’s playground, or with a visit to grandma’s. Reducing screen time while increasing time with others can help you bypass arguments. And for quieter kids, it might help to encourage these social interactions at least a few times per week.
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4. Encourage physical activity.
My husband and I recently bought a badminton set and some cheap backyard games to encourage our kids to get out and play. Kicking them outside and reducing screen time can have a major impact on their health. According to Hackensack Meridian Health, “[T]oo much screen time has been linked to: obesity, irregular sleep…behavioral problems, loss of social skills, violence, [and] less time for play.” It’s all about finding balance. Screen-time doesn’t need to be banished completely, but making physical activity a habit and motiving the kids to get up and run around is going to benefit them now and into the future.
5. Let them discover new passions.
I don’t know about your kids, but mine fight for more screen time when they’re already on the screen. Getting them off is the hard part. So, to avoid a fight, I’m trying something different: I’m going to let them get bored. Psychologist John Eastwood says in a book he cowrote called Out of My Skull: The Psychology of Boredom, “When you feel bored, because it’s an aversive and uncomfortable state, you’re motivated to look for something else. In that gap there’s a real chance to discover something new.” Let’s let our kids’ minds wander a little. Through that discomfort (hang in there, Mom!), our kids may just stumble onto something they love more than Super Mario.
Reducing screen time isn’t easy! What strategies have you used in your home with success?
