I opened my mom’s text: “How’s the school year going?” Hmm. The last few weeks had flown by, and I had to stop and think. Mostly good? Hanging in there? Busy? As moms, we tend to have a good pulse on things. But sometimes, life gets busy, and we can miss the signs if our children are struggling in school.
We want our kids to enjoy what they’re learning and grow in confidence along the way. But if one thing is off (a friendship, a class, or something else), it can affect not just the whole day, but the whole person. On the other hand, maybe you think your child’s doing all right and just want confirmation. Here are 7 signs your child is struggling (or succeeding) in school and what your role is in this moment.
1. He doesn’t have much to share about his day, even when asked.
My son doesn’t usually say much after school, but tends to open up later, around bedtime. Unlike my daughter, he’s not one to give me a play-by-play. But sharing nothing at all is unusual. If your child has little or nothing to say about his day—and it’s a change in behavior—he could be quietly struggling. This might be a good time to reach out to the teacher: “I’ve noticed my son hasn’t said much about school. Can you tell me what you’ve observed in class?”
The Flip Side: No child will be a ray of sunshine all the time. But if your child’s mood is generally upbeat and he has positive things to say about his day, he’s probably having a great school year so far. Ask him, “What do you enjoy about school? Who’s fun to be around?”
2. She feels sick before school or often visits the nurse.
When a child has anxiety, she may get tummy aches, headaches, or just feel off. If she’s reluctant to go to school or stay in class, it could be a sign of friendship problems or even bullying. Ask her, “Who are you hanging out with at recess?” and “Who do you like being around?” Figuring out how her day looks socially can help you get an idea of where she’s struggling. You may want to look into activities after school where she can meet other kids. And if she’s having trouble with another child, it’s probably time to reach out to the teacher.
The Flip Side: If she wakes up easily in the morning and is ready to go, then she’s likely in a good place right now. Kids who feel well and are excited about heading into school are thriving.
3. He hides homework, makes excuses, or starts battles.
My friend’s son, Ben, told her last year that he never had homework. But because Ben and my daughter had the same teacher, I knew this wasn’t true. My friend eventually realized Ben had been rushing to complete assignments on the ride to school. If this has happened in your home, take heart: Kids develop at different speeds. If he’s struggling now, it doesn’t mean he’ll struggle forever. Spend time with him and his homework each day, and look into short-term tutoring if he needs a boost to catch up.
The Flip Side: If your child’s communicating well about his homework and gets it done without a battle, he’s on track. Continue to show your support by asking questions about his learning.
4. She’s irritable and easily frustrated.
If it feels like anything could upset your child, you may wonder what’s going on. Without enough sleep at night, kids may have mood swings, meltdowns, and difficulty focusing in school. Sticking to a consistent bedtime routine is essential for learning. Encourage physical activity so her body’s tired at night. And limit screen time before bed. If worrying keeps her up, talk to your child to find out what’s on her mind, and then consider following up with her teacher.
The Flip Side: It’s normal to have a bad day now and then. Not everything will come easily for your child. But if she has more good days than bad right now, it’s a good indicator your child’s succeeding at school. Notice her effort with one of these compliments.
5. He’s disorganized and absentminded.
Right before bedtime, my son told me he needed to make a collage for class, and could I find a photo of him? Ugh! Later, I looked through his backpack and found crumpled papers, wrappers, and worksheets spilling out of folders. If your child’s backpack is a mess or he’s missed deadlines, it could be a sign he’s overwhelmed. Help your child get back on track by reviewing the material from class with him. Ask questions for understanding. Then, establish homework habits that’ll keep him organized so he can have a great school year.
The Flip Side: You can get a good read on a child’s well-being by what comes out of his mouth. If your kid peppers conversations with friends’ names, fun facts from the day, and due dates for upcoming projects, these are signs he’s thriving this school year.
What are some other signs your child could be struggling (or succeeding) in school?
