Have you ever noticed that the more we get, the more we want, and the less we appreciate what we get? It holds true for adults and children. A child working through a pile of presents on Christmas morning will often tear into one gift and fling it to the floor with hardly a look before he reaches for the next one. At family gatherings and on Christmas Day, there are countless gifts to be opened. We enjoy decadent meals and a constant parade of desserts. How can parents teach gratitude in the middle of holiday excess? Well, Christmas offers a unique opportunity for teaching gratitude to kids.
So, being the season of hope, we have some solutions to offer! From your own gift-giving plan to the way you choose to share moments of giving and receiving with friends and family, try these 5 strategies for teaching gratitude to your kids during the holidays.
1. Be intentional about changing the focus.
Shifting your children’s focus won’t happen on its own. They’re just too bombarded with advertising, reels, stories, and unboxing videos designed to make them want the latest and greatest. So be proactive about shifting the focus this year. For example: When you mention a “Christmas list” to your kids, expand the meaning to giving and receiving.Â
Use our Christmas Giving and Wishing List printable to cheerfully illustrate your point. Gather the kids around, put on some holiday tunes, and give your children the opportunity to think about how they’ll give to others while they’re also making their own wish list. That shift in thinking can change the feel of your whole holiday experience.
2. Rein Santa Claus in a little.
You don’t have to go full-on anti-Santa when you’re teaching gratitude at Christmas. Santa and gratitude can both ride in the same sleigh. One dad we know embraced Santa lore by taking one of his mounted deer heads off the wall, sticking a red ball on its nose, and having it peer into his kids’ windows late on Christmas Eve! But when the jolly old elf is the first, most consistent element of your Christmas celebration, your child comes to believe it’s a short hop from a Santa sighting to “What do I get?”Â
And just because Santa makes a stop at your house doesn’t mean he has to leave 50 gifts for each child. Less can be more. Because we’re Christians, my husband and I decided when our children were young to have Santa bring three gifts for each child. One mom explained it to her kids by saying, “Santa brings three gifts to children to remind them of the three gifts the wise men brought to baby Jesus.” In one simple move, she rerouted the secular holiday toward the true meaning of Christmas and capped the tendency toward too much from Santa.
3. Slow down the gift exchange.
While some families enjoy the chaotic, paper-flying frenzy of every child opening gifts at the same time, my sister-in-law brought a better, more civilized approach to our family celebrations. Here’s how it works: Everyone stacks their unopened gifts in front of them. Then, they take turns opening one gift at a time before moving to the next person. This allows everyone to admire the gift and gives the recipient time to truly appreciate it and thank the giver. It also allows you the opportunity to savor the moment of generosity among your loved ones! If you want extra credit, you can even help your children write thank-you notes for their gifts after the holidays.
4. Create more Christmas experiences outside of gift-getting.
Watch a few favorite Christmas movies, bake together, read a classic Christmas story, or take a drive to see the best holiday lights. There are lots of options. Help your children build Christmas memories that don’t come wrapped in paper tied with a bow. Shine the spotlight on the night before Christmas to make your Christmas Eve a non-gift experience with these eight Christmas Eve Traditions. (OK, there is one gift element in the list, but it’s not over the top.)
The iMOM Podcast episode, “Grateful Kids Versus Gimme Kids,” has more great strategies for teaching gratitude. And leading into our next strategy, let your children experience the joy of bringing holiday cheer to others with these 25 ideas.Â
5. Serve.
The Christmas season brings more opportunities than usual to serve the less fortunate. As a family, focus on making the holidays better for others: Serve dinner at a nonprofit event or shelter, buy gifts for a needy child or family through a nonprofit program such as Operation Christmas Child or Angel Tree, or visit a local nursing home to spend time with seniors who long for company. Teaching gratitude by serving is simple cause and effect: The more time you spend thinking about others, the less time you have to think about yourself and your own wants.
How do you work on teaching gratitude to your kids?
