My coworker’s face popped on the screen at the start of our Microsoft Teams call, and I could immediately tell she was having a rough morning. She’s a single mom, juggling work, finances, and her kids’ schedules. After a teary recap of the night before, she said, “I’m not even sure I know what relief feels like anymore. It’s just a lot.”
I felt a twinge of pain in my chest. I’ve wrangled two kids as a single coparent. There’s no partner to swing by the store to get a missing dinner ingredient or tag, “Your turn” at two in the morning when someone wets the bed. You carry the emotional and mental load of everyone while trying to keep yourself together. That kind of relentless stress is often called Single Parent Stress Syndrome. It’s different from mom burnout because it’s not just exhaustion—it’s living in a constant state of heightened responsibility. But it can be overcome. Here are 5 ways to start feeling like yourself again.
What is Single Parent Stress Syndrome?
Single Parent Stress Syndrome (SPSS) describes the chronic, intense stress that so many single moms carry when they’re trying to do everything by themselves without enough support. According to SingleParent411, SPSS isn’t an official clinical diagnosis yet, but its symptoms are real: constant exhaustion, emotional drain, anxiety, guilt, and that nagging pressure to be perfect for everyone. It’s like burnout, but with extra weight because the “off-switch” never gets pressed. Knowing what you’re dealing with matters. What you do next is what can bring you relief. Here are five ways to start moving in the right direction.
1. Adjust your expectations of yourself.
Single mom stress often starts with this invisible pressure to “prove” we’re doing okay. When I was raising my two boys under age three, I felt like I had to do as well or better than my married self would’ve done. That pressure made everything heavier, and it’s one of the hallmarks of Single Parent Stress Syndrome: unrealistic self-expectations. Here’s the truth: you’re already doing more than most people will ever understand. Your kids don’t need perfect; they need you. If the dishes sit overnight or you say no to the request from the PTA, you’re not failing. You’re surviving something hard.
Repeat to yourself: “I don’t have to prove my worth. Doing my best is enough.”
2. Create your “Stress Exit Plan.”
Single moms can’t just run off on a girls’ weekend without lots of planning, especially with little ones. But you can have a mental list of small ways to release stress in real time. For me, it was buckling my boys into their stroller, putting in earbuds, and walking up and down our street for twenty minutes. For you, it might be closing your eyes while your kids watch a show, taking deep, cleansing breaths after a fight with your ex, or texting a friend a funny meme. Think of these as handy “reset buttons” that fit into your life right now.
Repeat to yourself: “I’m allowed to pause and reset. And even the small resets can help.”
3. Reframe your to-do list.
The never-ending list is real. Meals, laundry, work deadlines, emails from school, all on repeat. You’ll never reach the point where it’s all done, and that’s not a reflection of you. This is another layer of single-parent stress syndrome—the mental load never truly ends. Reframe the list into “today” and “later” tasks. Let the latter pile wait. And give yourself credit for what you did do. You went for a walk? Big win. You remembered to sign that form? Gold star.
Repeat to yourself: “I celebrate what I accomplish today and release the rest.”
4. Take small steps toward financial control.
Many of us hide from our finances because looking at the numbers feels overwhelming. (Heyyyy. That’s me.) But avoiding it only adds stress. And financial strain is one of the biggest drivers of single mom stress. As scary as it might be to address your bank account, it’s one area of your life that you can take control of. Just start small: set up automatic bill payments, declare a “no online shopping” month, or open a high-yield savings account and put a little in each week. Watch it grow. It’s motivating and empowering. Each small step gives you back a little control and a little peace.
Repeat to yourself: “Facing my finances helps me grow in peace, not fear.”
5. Strengthen your core circle.
One of the hardest parts of single motherhood is how your friend group can shift. Maybe your married friends don’t invite you like they used to, or your old support system has changed. That doesn’t mean you’re alone; it means you may need a different core group for this season. Isolation feeds single-parent struggles; connection starves it. Think about who leaves you feeling seen and supported—other single moms, a trusted neighbor, a sister, a coworker—and invest there. Your core circle might look different, but it can still be strong and life-giving.
Repeat to yourself: “I’m worthy of friendships that fit my life now.”
Final Thought: Single Parent Stress Syndrome can make life feel like you’re living inside a pressure cooker. Think of these small shifts as tapping that little valve to start releasing some pressure. They won’t solve every challenge overnight, but they will help you reclaim space to breathe, think, and feel like yourself again.
Had you heard of Single Parent Stress Syndrome before reading this article?
